Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
