I think my vagina is haunted
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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