Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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