My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
