Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
