i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
