Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
