what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
