They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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