I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
