highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
