i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
