i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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