Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We need to rekindle our bromance
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
