So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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