So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
