soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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