i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize