Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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