Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
