its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
