he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
