His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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