five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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