I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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