Me too!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize