Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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