you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize