And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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