there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
