Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
