So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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