I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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