My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
