Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i came on her dog
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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