Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
