hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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