At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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