It's Friday. Sex?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
