I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize