He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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