your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
