I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize