She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
