HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
