I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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