We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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