that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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