I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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