so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
