White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
