Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
please don't ironically join a cult
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