some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
id be glad to
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
