it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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