Apparently you make a good broom.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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