do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
