Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize