I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
